Posts by troubled mind

20

Leaving JW Tracts at the Funeral Visitation

by OnTheWayOut in

jw's cannot help themselves.

a couple who were very close friends with my wife and i when i was a jw had a few kids that grew up.

none of their kids remained jw despite their heavy activity while growing up.

troubled mind

When my Mom passed away my non Witness Father told me to follow her wishes for a Witness funeral ,but to warn the Brother to keep it short ,and sweet or else he would be out on his ear . (my Dad means what he says ) The Elder had recently lost his wife, and was very sympathetic to our wishes . I told him I did NOT want a Sunday public talk ,but a simple respectful rememberance of my Mom, and he could include what her hope was . To my surprise he even allowed me to give a short personal eulogy about my Mom. He did fairly well until the end when he started going on about what my Mom (aka Witnesses) believed , I felt my Dad begin to tense and heard a few growls under his breath .....so I started clearing my throat loud enough for the speaker to look at me, then I gave him the finger across the throat motion (cut) Thankfully he got my point and concluded ....

During the visitation a crazy JW woman kept starting conversations with my relatives that were very inappropriate ,asking if they thought my Mom had been in pain or if she knew what was happening at the end... I ended up having to ask her to leave . She showed up at the funeral with her service bag and tracts ......she was escorted to the door and was told now was not her service time . What a nit wit ...she had no sense of boundries what so ever

Most of the Witnesses though were very nice ,and well mannered ,only a few tried to use the 'Oh your Mom will want to see you in the new system' jab ,because I was inactive at the time .

I felt embarrassed for some of them ...they honestly don't know how rude and weird they come off as when they try to witness to others at funerals .

42

How did you leave?

by stuckinamovement in

jw
friends

once you realized the organization is simply a religious corporation, how did you leave?.

did you fade?.

were you forced out?.

troubled mind

Here is the thread 00DAD :

http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/194279/1/Here-is-the-Letter-I-am-thinking-of-sending-give-me-your-input

42

How did you leave?

by stuckinamovement in

jw
friends

once you realized the organization is simply a religious corporation, how did you leave?.

did you fade?.

were you forced out?.

troubled mind

00Dad , I had lots of help from people here on the forum to formulate my letter the final draft was short and sweet :

Attention to the Elder body of the G***** Congregation Of Jehovah’s Witnesses

I specifically requested Bro.S#*@ to inform the Elder body to stop calling, and stop coming to my home uninvited . My request has been ignored .

I consider these repeated phone calls ,personal questions and uninvited visits as Harassment .

Disrespect of my personal privacy is unacceptable . These intimidation tactics must come to an end .

You are hereby notified to immediately terminate any contact with me ,including phone calls ,home visits , mail or electronic mail ..

A copy of this letter has been filed with the local Police Department per legal suggestion .

***** Sent certified mail

42

How did you leave?

by stuckinamovement in

jw
friends

once you realized the organization is simply a religious corporation, how did you leave?.

did you fade?.

were you forced out?.

troubled mind

I was fed up with the organization for quite sometime before I made the final decision to leave . I started planning my exit though . First I began making friendships with the people I worked with so I would have some support . I also started looking into the internet websites I had always been scared to look at before ...mainly this one . I lurked for a while then started posting so I could have people to vent to about my situation . It gave me much needed courage .

I stopped going in field service first . I just could not be two faced ,telling people at the door one thing while actually feeling the opposite . Then I began missing the book study ,really didn't like some of the people there and was tired of putting up a false pretense . I stayed long enough to give a scheduled talk ,and to fulfill a booked Wedding shoot I had promised for a young Witness couple .

The very next Sunday after that was over ,I just told my husband during the public talk that I wanted to go home . Once we were home I told him I no longer would be attending meetings that I was done . It was quite a shock to him ,and looking back now that is the only thing I would have done differently . I should have eased him into the idea and shared more of my doubts earlier . To his credit though he stopped going to meeting the day I did ...he just did not want to go alone . Our youngest son was starting to miss meetings already and was more than happy to stop all together . Our two oldest children lived on their own and were both still active . Slowly over about two yrs they also quit going for their own reasons . I did not try to influence them ,but I did share how unhappy I had been and why I felt better .

We had been in this same congregation over 30 yrs . None of the Elders called to see what was wrong . Not until over three yrs later did they show up to my door ,because of winter decorations on my porch . They started out with 'Oh we miss you ' , but I reminded them how LONG it had been and that I did not feel they had any right to intrude into my personal life . They then started calling incessantly and stopping by unannounced trying to ask me questions about holidays and Youtube videos I had viewed (guess my youtube account setting was not on private and someone narced about my viewing habits ) So I let them know in no uncertain terms my life was NO longer any of their business .Sent a registered letter to cease and desist all harassment and filed copies with the Police department . When they sent me a JC invitation the Police called the Elder and explained more clearly what cease/desist means ......sense then I have heard not one word Which is all I wanted .... I don't know if any announcement has ever been made at the hall ,most Witnesses avoid me so I can assume there was ,or at least enough gossip . The JW in laws call once a year ,but my husbands Elder brother and family shun us completely ,as does one of my brothers and his family .

Now I openly decorate for Christmas ,vote , attend parties ect....basically live my own life .

20

GB Stridency: Nudge, Nudge, Wink, Wink Doesn't Work Anymore

by metatron in

jw
friends

currently, it often seems like everything that comes from the glorious masters of time and space (aka 'the governing body that couldn't shoot straight') sounds like it would be printed in capital letters if it was part of an email (very annoying).. which tells you that:.

the old 'nudge, nudge, wink, wink' style of watchtower command and control ain't working anymore.

wha' happened?

troubled mind

20

Received a very heart felt phone call tonite over the Df Watchtower article

by troubled mind in

jw
friends

tonight one of my sons called me just to say ," mom i love you !

" .. he told me that this weekend he had read a thread posted by kyria about the new watchtower on shunning df'd relatives ,and that it had really made him sad .

he said, " mom, i am so glad we are all out of the jehovah's witnesses ....i just don't think i could of stood it to think you guys not talking to me ...it really upsets me .

troubled mind

((( Flipper and 00Dad ))) Please hang in there and keep reaching out to your kids ....that is all you can do is offer them the olive branch and let them know how much you care no matter how badly they treat you . The sick mind garbage that they recieve through the Watchtower keeps them in a constant stae of confusion mentally and emotionally .....

I vividly remember those days myself ! For years I would struggle internally because my oldest brother was DA'd . As a teen I would keep in contact with him regularly ,then after my baptism @17 I felt the pressure to follow the Watchtower counsel and shun him . Over the years my heart would relent and I would yearn to speak with him . We had limited contact . In my mind I lived a fantasy that if I did what Jehovah expected then my brother would come back . I would look for him at Conventions thinking he might show . As the yrs went by I married and had children ,he married and had a child yet we remained apart . I started thinking "What is so wrong with him having his own opinion ? He is a good man ,a great Dad ,he just doesn't want to be a JW ...So what ! " . My love for him remained strong . I felt unworthy as a Witness because I could not love Jehovah more than my family . It caused deep depression in me . I could not mentally break free from the cult mind control . Then ,as I saw my own children going through Watchtower HELL , I started to become stronger . When I went through seeing my Witness Mother suffer and die , realized how short this life is and precious . I did not want to waste one more second doing something that was not making me happy ,SO I LEFT the Watchtower society and began living life .

How lucky i was that my brother never was bitter or angry with me . He was hurt and sad over the years ,but he never held that over me or kept a grudge . He was DA'd at age 18 .....He was 52 when I finally quit the JW's .......A LONGTIME ,but not forever . We now enjoy Thanksgiving together at his house for the past six yrs . This past Christmas was the FIRST time ever my whole family, and his, plus our never a JW Father were together to share a holiday and a meal .

Look how long it took me to wake up ....there is hope for your loved ones too . Keep the door open to them . Make them understand you love them no matter what .

20

Received a very heart felt phone call tonite over the Df Watchtower article

by troubled mind in

jw
friends

tonight one of my sons called me just to say ," mom i love you !

" .. he told me that this weekend he had read a thread posted by kyria about the new watchtower on shunning df'd relatives ,and that it had really made him sad .

he said, " mom, i am so glad we are all out of the jehovah's witnesses ....i just don't think i could of stood it to think you guys not talking to me ...it really upsets me .

troubled mind

I just hope my experience gives someone else the courage to do what they know they need to do . I know it is HARD ,I know it is scarry BUT I also know how much better it really can be . Sometimes it does woirk out !

We came out immediate family intact : Mom ,Dad three children ,and one of the children's mate. We have also had losses : thirty yrs worth of friends ALL of them , one set of grandparents ,cousins ,Aunts and Uncles...

But we still have each other and are making the most of that and re-building other relationships to fill in the gaps left by other once loved ones .

Have courage follow your heart and what your soul is telling you . Unlike what the Jws say Your heart is NOT treacherous ...It is your inner voice listen to it !

13

I found my cousins

by noni1974 in

jw
friends

i found 3 of my cousins who are not jw's on facebook and i have friend requested them and two of them have accepted so far.

.

troubled mind

Awesome Noni ! Very happy for you ,facebook has connected me to former friends that left yrs before me .We might not be close ,but sharing on facebook is at least closing the gap a bit . I am sure your cousins will catch up with you quickly .

20

Received a very heart felt phone call tonite over the Df Watchtower article

by troubled mind in

jw
friends

tonight one of my sons called me just to say ," mom i love you !

" .. he told me that this weekend he had read a thread posted by kyria about the new watchtower on shunning df'd relatives ,and that it had really made him sad .

he said, " mom, i am so glad we are all out of the jehovah's witnesses ....i just don't think i could of stood it to think you guys not talking to me ...it really upsets me .

troubled mind

((Thanks Zid)))

20

Received a very heart felt phone call tonite over the Df Watchtower article

by troubled mind in

jw
friends

tonight one of my sons called me just to say ," mom i love you !

" .. he told me that this weekend he had read a thread posted by kyria about the new watchtower on shunning df'd relatives ,and that it had really made him sad .

he said, " mom, i am so glad we are all out of the jehovah's witnesses ....i just don't think i could of stood it to think you guys not talking to me ...it really upsets me .

troubled mind

Tonight one of my sons called me just to say ," Mom I love you ! " .

He told me that this weekend he had read a thread posted by Kyria about the new Watchtower on shunning DF'd relatives ,and that it had really made him sad . He said, " Mom, I am so glad we are all out of the Jehovah's Witnesses ....I just don't think I could of stood it to think you guys not talking to me ...It really upsets me ." It choked me up ...I then reassured him that no matter what we would have never cut off one of our kids ,that is one of the major reasons I had to leave the JWs .

He has told me recently how much he really likes who I am now .....

I remember how afraid I was when i decided to stop going to meetings . At that time my two oldest children were still very active . I was so concerned that they would be pressured to shun me ,which I felt at the time would kill me ,but the reality was if I stayed in I might kill myself because I was so unhappy . It was the hardest thing I have done ...to take that leap into the unknown . There were so many 'what ifs'......so many jw instilled fears .....but now looking back it was the best decision I have ever made .

My heart breaks for many of you on this forum when I read your stories about being stuck in or about your children being kept in by one parent . I feel your pain ,but Don't give up .....please . Sometimes things do work out .